Salty Friend - John
Name: John
AKA: Captain Stinky
Likes: Catching crabs, Scratching himself, Coldplay
Dislikes: Being away from Don
Happiest When: Braying, making large sweeping generalizations about a large number of topics, on walkies.
Best Animal Friend: Benjamin
Saltiest Moment: Once kissed Phil Collins on the lips and fainted.
Bio: Scientists around the globe continue to vehemently debate whether John is in fact alive and deserving of a bio. Currently he is classified in the kingdom Fungi as a Myxomycetes. Stay tuned to this page for any updates as to John’s classification.