Max’s Birthday 2013 – By Max

May 16, 2013

Max here. I am just fine, thank you.

Singing— “It’s My Birthday and I’ll Eat As Much As I Want To…”

That’s right. My Birthday is on the 16th of May. I try to play it up as much as I can, but the shop first opened on that day. And Cole/Coal came to us on that day. So sometimes my special day gets overshadowed by other things. I’m OK with that as long as I get expired, dented, canned food from the shop on my special day (Editors Note: It’s both breakfast and dinner on all three dogs’ birthday). The canned food only gives me the runs about 1/15th of the time. But I wouldn’t give that canned food up for the world. Maybe a Himalayan Dog Chew, but certainly not for the world.

After all, my full AKC name “Maximus Gary” means “The Greatest Gary” in Latin. But if you’re a Latin Scholar, please don’t email me. I don’t speak it and it’s a dead language for a reason. Ooops. I guess that guarantees me more irate emails from Latin Scholars everywhere. Email Auggie. His full AKC name is Augustus Megatron Bulldozer. I’m sure that upsets the AKC more than a flea infestation before the national show.

My Birthday may be on the 16th, but we’re celebrating it on the 18th. If you show up to the shop on the 16th to wish me a happy birthday, Don will most likely say Coal is me (Editors Note: Liana has Max that week). Coal does a fair impression of me but, frankly, the love of organic matter (Ed: Treats) is lacking. And his knowledge of Henry Miller is limited. But where Coal REALLY shines is sniffing out a zombie. That’s why he’s got his own day on June 1st . Come into the shop on that day and act like such a life-(dead?)-like zombie, so that Coal barks, and you will get a packet of treats for your own dog. Of course “Whilst Supplies Last!” But if you come to our little shop on May18th at noon (sharp), we’re going to have doggie cake and dog treats for everyone! We’re going to celebrate 1) My 6th Birthday, 2) The Shop’s 1st anniversary 3) Our first day with Coal. Not necessarily in that order. Singing of “Happy Birthday” and Dog Cake will commence NO LATER than 12:15pm. I’m serious this time.

Don & Liana will have that tent out in the back where you can get great deals on some pretty good merchandise. Only if Don remembers to set it up the night before. I will bark at him at 4:30 on Friday and Saturday morning, pretending that I am barking at a squirrel, when I am really barking at him to get up and set up the tent. But just between you and me, I’m barking for those sweet, sweet dented cans of random dog food. And I always will.

P.S. Don’t bother looking for the dented cans in the “Discount” area. They’re mine. You can have all the vegetarian dog treats you see there.

–Maximus Gary – OUT(fitters)!