It’s Not a K9 Crooked House, It’s a K9 Crooked Home – By Max & Auggie

Max: I guess they call these K-9 Crooked Houses a “dog house.”
Aug: I thought a dog house was where my toys, rope, and dog bones were.
Max: Nope. That’s what you call a “Human House” or “Property.” But you can put all of your favorite things into a dog house.
Aug: ROWF!!!! I thought Property was MY house. What’s a dog house?
Max: It’s a lot like a Human House, but it’s smaller, and has no cable TV.
Aug: Cable TV is NatGeo Wild Channel, right? I love the birds and squirrels on that one.
Max: Yes. That’s it. That’s the channel that has animals we want to eat and animals we are terrified of. I even saw a cat that I didn’t want to chase on NatGeo. It was HUUUUUUGE!
Aug: No way. You’re trying to scare me.
Max: Regardless…these dog houses are brightly colored, and the windows have all kinds of crazy angles that look like a human house after I hit my head on the underside of the table when I’m looking for all the potato chip crumbs after a party at the Human House.
Aug: You’re too fat to do that anymore!!!! Those crumbs are MINE!!!!
Max: Such a whelp!!! —-Slaps Aug’s Head—-
Aug: ROWWWR!!! —-Bites Max’s lip—-
Max: Anyway…..These houses are big enough to give a large, powerful dog like myself– or a small wimpy whelp like you a good long nap. And that nap can be away from kids wanting to poke fingers in our ears and eyes– and Dog knows what else. It would be our Safe Place, Aug. That’s a GOOD thing.
Aug: You shall regret your “wimpy whelp” comment, sir. I will see to it. And I will never share such short quarters with a behemoth like you, I assure you.
Max: We don’t have to, Auggie. They make both a “Grande” for me, and a “Mini” for you. (He He, Mini)
Aug: Grrrr…..
Max: And you should be happy with your bare and cold floor, while I get one with a plush all-weather cushion.
Aug: BARK!!!! Grrr…….
Max: YELP!!!!!!!!!