DAY OF THE DOGS – VOLUME IV – by Max

Dec 1, 2021

 

Hi Guys!

It’s the latest chapter in my Heist Novel “Day of the Dogs.” I hope you all like it! Here are the previous chapters:

Click Here for Volume I

Click Here for Volume II

Click Here for Volume III

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PULLED HAM

Buddy was deep between the fireplace and kindling box. His head was so close to the ham.

He found it! It smelled so good. He was so hungry. He reached for it and scraped the tin foil with his teeth. The foil was smooth and it crinkled.

He shuffled a little closer. His tail and legs were like a crab’s on the hardwood floor between the kindling box and the fireplace. He inched closer. His effort hardly justified the progress.

Buddy pulled his front legs on the sides of the firebox and fireplace. That was better. His rear legs mimicked the front. He shuffled a little more in. Then a little more. Finally, Buddy had a firm mouth-hold on the ham.

There it was.

Buddy tried wriggling out with the ham in his mouth the same way. The tin foil tasted awful. Max must have put the bad-tasting tin foil on the ham so Buddy wouldn’t eat it. Oh Max! Buddy would never eat The Ham by himself. He wanted to share The Ham with all his Dog friends.

He pulled at The Ham again and kindling fell to the floor in a racket and Buddy got scared. The kindling made it harder to pull The Ham out.

The kindling and all Buddy’s shuffling by the fireplace caught Don’s eye. What the hell was Buddy doing? He looked ridiculous with his ass out on the hardwood floor and his crab-like shuffling. Don took some ice from the pack on his bruised and aching head and put it in his whiskey. Then he thought, “Buddy had better not get stuck in there and start barking in the wee hours… Big Dumb Buddy was right.”

At the same time, Buddy was thinking, “The Ham was supposed to be at The Lilac Tree. Max said it should be at The Garden Shed. The Ham should be at The Garden Shed with all the other food the dogs brought there. I hope I can get The Ham to The Garden Shed before everydog is full.”

Buddy resumed his laborious, crabby process of dragging The Ham out.

 

ROADHOUSE BLUES

Scott drifted downstairs with his half-filled red cup in hand. He was in a bad mood. He just had an animated discussion with John who thought “Roadhouse” was a terrible movie. What a load of steaming alligator crap.

He came into The Great Room where Don, Sarah, and a couple other people were chatting away. Then he noticed Don had an ice pack on his face.

“What the hell happened to you?” said Scott.

“The dogs are trying to kill me,” said Don as he took another ice cube from the pack and put it in his whiskey.

“The people are, too,” said Scott casually.

Sarah snickered. Then Scott blurted, “John said ‘Roadhouse’ sucks. Can you believe that?”

“What?!? John? I thought he was smarter than that,” said Don.

“Apparently not.”

Sarah looked at Scott surreptitiously, trying to gauge how long he would be hanging around The Great Room and how much of the Naughty Sausage Dip she would yield to him, if any.

“I’ve never seen it,” she said.

Instantly, Don and Scott’s heads whipped around and they stared at her.

“Wait?…… WHAT?” they cried in unison.

Sarah looked at both of them sheepishly.

“You poor, poor, woman,” said Scott as the last two people besides them left The Great Room. “You HAVE to watch it. “I have a DVD copy in my car.” He got up and half-staggered to the door. “We gotta watch Roadhouse!”

“YES!” Don yelled after him, “ROADHOUSE!” even though he could have easily brought it up on pay-per-view on The Living Room TV.

Sarah started to bring the Naughty Dip and Fritos out from under the coffee table.

Scott opened the door to the deck with too much enthusiasm and it crashed into the wall. It rebounded off the flimsy doorstop and made it almost all the way closed.

Almost.

 

WHAT YOU ARE ABLE

Max and Tohono faced each other.

“What do you want, Black Dog?”

“What is mine.”

“You are but three House Dogs. We are ten. We take what we want.”

“You take what you are able,” Max said.

Tohono squinted his eyes and drew his mouth back into a mockery of a grin. His eyes were wide.

Max continued, “Go back to your woods, Waskin.”

“I am Tohono, Alpha of this pack. Do not toy with me.”

“YOU are the one who is toying with ME,” said Maximus Gary, raising his voice. “I speak only to Waskin.”

“I am Tohono. You speak to me.”

“Waskin, if I make one trip to that door, my Biped comes out with a shotgun. And it’s not us he’ll be shooting.”

“True. But your Biped will find and confiscate your stolen bounty,” Tohono snickered. “And we know you don’t want to fight us….” he continued, “Because you can’t.”

Max lowered his eyelids when Tohono called his bluff. Max’s singular mind was slowing down. Maximus Gary said, “We will allow you to pass through our territory to get to the trash cans at the end of the road. There is a dead porcupine south of the trashcans. You may have that as well.”

Tohono chuckled evilly. “You’ll pay for that, Lapdog.”

“I paid for everything I care to tonight, Waskin. Go home.”

“I will enjoy tearing that arrogance out of your throat.”

“We have powers you can’t even fathom, Trasheater,” said Maximus Gary. “You would be wise to take my offer,” he sighed. “This is the last time I will honor it.”

Tohono saw Teddy and Auggie lying in the tall grass like arrows in a drawn bow, waiting for this dog to release them. They were well-fed. They were huge. They could easily bowl four of his pack members over at a time and cause them terrible injury. These dogs were different than the usual “Domesticateds.” They had no fear. A normal group of Domesticateds would have run away yelping at the sight of Wharglearg coming through the treeline. These dogs were quite unafraid.

OR ……

They were incredibly naive and playing an outstanding bluff. Tohono had little choice but to believe the latter. He HAD to chalk the brazenness of these House Dogs up to naivety. If he and Waskin told Wharglearg to go back to their scrapes or accept the garbage, they would be overthrown as Alphas and end up as lone coyotes. That was a death sentence.

“And I will make my offer one last time,” snarled Tohono viciously, “Vacate this place and I will let you all live and walk this lawn forevermore without harm. That is my word.”

Maximus Gary’s stared deeply, sleepily into Tohono’s eyes. He said, “You face united dogs here, Waskin. We would have gladly shared our bounty with you, had you approached us in brotherhood.” Maximus Gary stared at the ground. “That time has passed.”

Maximus Gary lofted his words to Wharglearg. “We only want what is ours. We do not want to hurt you.” Maximus Gary brought his head down and stared at Tohono with sleepy eyes, “But we will kill you if you make us.”

“I will drag you and your meager pack off to be my slaves, Pampered One,” frothed Tohono. “And when I tire of you, I will force you to watch me kill your pack one by one.”

“And so murder was thrust upon us,” said Maximus Gary. He turned his back on Tohono moved back inside the Defense Perimeter.

 

DOMESTICATEDS

Tohono walked back to Wharglearg with his hackles up and his head straight out. He brought his dogs to the treeline.

“What is the Black Dogs’ name?” asked Waskin.

Tohono’s mind reeled. What WAS his name? Tohono gave HIS name and THEY knew Waskin’s name. But what was That Black Dog’s name? That was the first rule of palaver.

“Black Dog! What is your name?” Tohono shouted over his shoulder.

A pause.

“GINGY!” shouted Teddy,

Howls from The Three Dogs.

“I just wanted to know who I had the pleasure of killing,” shouted Tohono.

“The pleasure is all Gingy’s!” Auggie retorted. More sustained laughter.

Tohono turned furiously to his pack.

“Everyone in this pack is to attack the Leader- Gingy! Form a wedge and charge him all at once! Separate him from his goons. Knock him to the ground. Remove him from the fight as quickly as possible. Dispose of the goons as you will, and hold this Gingy such that his belly is bared to me!

Wharlgearg roared in assent. They dug the ground. They snapped off branches. They howled and growled.

Waskin stood next to Tohono and surveyed the troops.

“On my signal, attack the Domesticateds,” Tohono said.

 

THE DOMESTICATEDS

When the laughter died down, Maximus Gary said, “Zeus, get into a position where you can listen to what Waskin is saying.” The other dogs watched Maximus Gary apprehensively.

Zeus moved out of The Garden Shed and set his ears up like little radar dishes at the treeline behind some tall grass.

“What’s important now is that we literally have each other’s backs,” said Maximus Gary. “I am center dog. I will protect your inner flanks. Each of you protect one of my flanks and one of your own. If we get into a position where a coyote is attacking us from behind, I will flip to protect your rear, and you both protect my rear. If we act as one and protect each others’ weaknesses, we will win. I have no doubts about that.

“No dog is to break formation before the signal. And under NO circumstances should anydog run out of the Defense Perimeter. If that happens, we have lost. Protecting each other’s flanks is boring and not as exciting as killing a coyote that has injured you, but it will expose us all to the tactics they use to fell game. No matter what happens, do not leave the perimeter. And guard your flanks…”

Zeus broke in nervously, “The leader is making his entire pack form a wedge and charge at you all at once and at full speed, Maximus Gary. He thinks your name is Gingy. They want to separate you from Auggie and Teddy and the leader wants to rip your belly out himself. He’s very angry.”

Maximus Gary looked down at Zeus’s terrified little head poking cautiously through the tall grass. Maximus Gary smiled. “Thank you Zeus. What would Pack Gingy do without those ears?” Then he faced Ted and Aug. “Now we know their opening move. Gather close. It is important that you understand me completely. Be quick about it.”

Teddy and Auggie drew closer to Maximus Gary. Zeus ran into the shed to see Ginger looking around the interior of the shed.

 

CRISP LITTLE MIND

Ginger looked around. There wasn’t much the small dogs could defend themselves with. It was a mess in there. A pressure washer blocked much of back door, but it wouldn’t stop a coyote from forcing her way in. And there was no way they could move the pressure washer. Maybe if the big dogs could move it…..

They were busy now, Ginger thought, snapping out of her haze.

She inventoried her surroundings. On second look, there were dangerous things all over the place. There was a bag of lime on the floor next to the pressure washer. There were fishing poles with lines and vicious-looking lures hung up in an orderly fashion on the wall by the door. Ginger saw a heavy, rusted iron hook hanging from a barely-attached, equally-heavy eyelet at the middle of the back door. That could give a coyote a nasty little headache. How best to use these things?

She filed these facts away in her crisp little mind.

She motioned to Zeus and they started bringing down the fishing poles with the garish lures and hooks. They brought them down near the back door such that the hooks were terrible, unseen traps to the first coyote through the back door.

That was when they heard Wharglearg charge.

 

THE GREAT EMPTY

“What the hell is Big Dumb Buddy doing?” asked Don, after he heard the kindling fall.

Sarah looked over her shoulder and saw Buddy splay-legged and wriggling in between the kindling box and fireplace. He was about halfway out.

“I haven’t the slightest idea. Is there food back there?”

“Negatory. Unless he’s trapped a mouse or something. But that doesn’t sound like Buddy. He’d be terrified of a mouse,” said Don through a mouthful of Naughty Dip. “He’s probably looking for a quiet place to sleep away from everyone.”

“Gah! This Naughty Dip is cold!” interjected Sarah. “I HATE cold Naughty Sausage Dip!” she banged her fist on the coffee table for emphasis like Nikita Khrushchev.

Don grabbed both the dip and the chips and sprinted his way to the now-empty kitchen and the microwave.

Sarah trotted behind, clapping her hands in excited anticipation.

 

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Buddy was making great progress. He heard Don and Sarah leave for the kitchen. They had other things to eat besides The Ham he thought. He was bringing Maximus this ham so they could all share it. That would make everyone happy.

Buddy finally got some traction on the carpet by the coffee table. He was able to pull the ham out much more easily now. He was no longer a 90lb black crab scuffling on a hardwood floor. He was a 90lb black crab scuffling on a carpet.

When he finally got the ham out, Buddy looked around and blinked several times to get his eyes adjusted. The Great Room was empty.

Don and Sarah were in the kitchen, laughing loudly by the microwave and filling glasses with booze and ice. Buddy should take the ham out the back door without the Bipeds seeing it because Bipeds didn’t like dogs to have Biped food unless it was in little bits from Biped hands or in their food bowls, Buddy thought.

Don briefly noticed him from the kitchen and thought, “Is that dog finally having the aneurysm we’ve been expecting?” Don went back to the Naughty Dip. “What the hell was going on with the dogs tonight?” he thought.

Buddy stabbed the foil-wrapped ham with his large jaws and moved to the deck door without Don or Sarah seeing him.

 

FUN AND GAMES

All Wharglearg except Tohono and Waskin charged from their positions. Max howled, “Draw in! Mind your flanks!” Auggie and Teddy drew into Max such that there was no space between them. “Crouch!!!” Max barked, and they all became as small as they possibly could as the galloping herd of coyotes approached them with fangs bared and tongues frothing crazily.

“Easy….” said Maximus Gary soothingly. “Easy… Remember the plan. Keep your heads down. Stay calm.” He sounded far away.

Auggie stared at Maximus Gary. “Getting a little nap in before Tea Time old man?” he said. Teddy burst out laughing. He laughed a maniacal, high-pitched, infectious laugh. When the swarm of coyotes thundered at them, Auggie and Teddy were shrieking with laughter.

Discipline in Wharglearg was lost in the frenzy. Younger coyotes at the back overtook the larger, older coyotes in the front of the wedge just as the older coyotes were slowing for the attack. The older coyotes were shoved from behind and lost their traction. They were propelled by the youthful hate of the coyotes in the back. Tohono’s wedge was ruined, and with it, his attack. As the mass of coyotes slammed forward, they saw Auggie and Teddy laughing hysterically and “Gingy” himself looking like he was about to take a nap in the warm sun.

Just as the disorganized wall of coyotes hit the three dogs in full force, Maximus Gary shouted, “UP!!!” All three dogs put their noses down and their rumps in the air. They charged forward a half-step just as the front of Wharglearg’s undisciplined horizontal wall hit Maximus’s solid vertical wedge. The coyotes were peeled off and sent flying into the Garden Shed at full force.

There were grunts and yowls from the coyotes. Dull, hollow thuds as coyote body hit coyote body. Snarling. Guttural exhalations as air was crushed out of coyote lungs.

There was a sickening series of thuds as coyotes were flung from Maximus’s solid vertical wedge and hit The Garden Shed. They hit the sturdy framing and collapsed- dazed as if by a prizefighters punch. Other coyotes hit the resilient door and bounced back several feet with a huge noise but little harm. Other coyotes lost their equilibrium and skidded off on their sides and rolled clumsily away with their feet churning in the air.

“DEFEND!!” spat Maximus Gary and the three dogs broke from their positions snarling and spitting hate. Except for Auggie. He was still laughing. Auggie and Teddy chased all the coyotes still on their feet out of the defense perimeter. One tried to make her escape between the cars. Teddy caught her and dragged her by her leg across the lawn. He threw her snapping, thrashing body easily over the Defense Perimeter by her leg like he was an Olympic shotputter.

Maximus Gary ran to the pile of dazed older coyotes that had hit the solid Garden Shed. They were drunkenly trying to shuffle away from him. Maximus Gary methodically bit hard at their necks and swung them to and fro like the dog toys of his youth. He dug strongly at their bellies. He did not try to kill the older coyotes. No. That would not do. They would not murder the helpless.

After he inflicted his punishment, he said to them all serenely whilst looking confrontationally into their eyes, “We do not want to kill you.”

 

SHEDDING IT

Zeus and Ginger heard Tohono bark, “CHARGE!”

They heard Wharlglearg thunder towards them.

Then they heard Maximus Gary bark, “UP!” and the whole Garden Shed shuddered and rang. Garden pots and rakes crashed to the ground. The Shed undulated like it was in a great earthquake.

Ginger and Zeus were terrified. They had no idea the big sounds were the coyotes hitting the sturdy framing with sickening “THUDS,” and other coyotes hitting the doors with resilient “WHACKS!” The Garden Shed reverberated for what felt like aeons.

Zeus looked at Ginger. What happened? Was Max dead? Where were Teddy and Auggie? Were they dead? Should they break for it? What was going on out there?

Then they heard Maximus Gary bark “DEFEND!” It was then they knew Pack Gingy was the victor..

Then they heard Maximus Gary ripping at the throats of the coyotes as they yelped in pain right outside the door. They heard Teddy further off, disposing of a pleading, snarling bitch across The Defense Perimeter.

The brutish animal sounds coming from Maximus Gary on the attack and the whimpering pleas of the coyotes made Maximus Gary sound like a killer. Even his softly whispered, “We do not want to kill you” sounded disembodied and not at all like him.

There was silence. Then Maximus Gary poked his head through the front door. His jaws were soaked in clotting blood.

“Zeus, set up those ears again.”

“OK,” Zeus said getting up. He put his head close to Ginger and whispered “Why are big dogs always trying to hurt one another?”

“I don’t know,” said Ginger absentmindedly.

She was thinking about Auggie. Where was Auggie?

 

ANOTHER TRIP THROUGH THE PARK?

A stunned Tohono and Waskin watched a bewildered Wharglearg straggle, limp, and thrown across the Black Dog’s House Defense Perimeter. One by one.

“No more chances, Waskin!” said Maximus Gary at the Defense Perimeter, “Let it end here!”

“That was a barrel o’ FUN!” barked Teddy excitedly. He ran out to the edge of the perimeter. “Another trip through the park? I only counted eight. Where WERE you Waskin? Hello…………….?” He took great digs at the snow-covered lawn with his paws and cast the sod and corn snow at them.

“Come out to PLAY!!!!” Auggie roared at them. “Us Lapdogs love PLAYtime!!!”

Teddy and Auggie looked at each other and broke out in hysterical laughter all over again. They couldn’t help it. “Taking a NAP!” Teddy gasped as he and Auggie broke out in fresh peals of laughter. They waved their butts at Wharglearg and taunted them.

Every dog in Wharglearg could see the fur on Maximus Gary’s serene head was matted and covered in blood.

And every canine knew it was Wharglearg blood.

 

BIG SMART BUDDY

Unseen, Buddy plodded rhythmically towards the back door in The Great Room. The weight of the ham forced his head down. He had to open his eyes wide and look up to find his way to the door. He dropped the ham with a thud to no immediate response from Don or Sarah in the kitchen. He started pushing The Ham with his nose towards the door. When he got there, it looked closed.

Yet he could smell fresh, cold, air coming from it.

“That is outside,” thought Buddy. He put his giant snout next to the door jamb and inhaled deeply.

“Yes,” he concluded, “It is outside. And I really need to poop again.”

Buddy started to swipe the edge of the door with the end of his nose. Then he clawed at it at the same time he swiped it. It moved the tiniest bit. He stepped back as though he expected the door to be wide open. Luckily, Buddy was not hasty in anything he did. He swiped his giant, cold, wet nose again, and again and again on the end of the door while grasping the bottom with his paw.

He felt a gush of cold air.

Buddy stood back and regarded his work. There was a gap about 1″ wide between the door and the jamb. The cold was blowing in harder now.

Buddy went to the gap and stuck his tongue through it. It tasted horrible, but the door moved ever so slightly. Buddy backed off and eyeballed the situation again.

He brought his head to the gap. He stuck his tongue through it and made his tongue rigid. Then he swayed his giant head to the left and the door opened a couple inches. Then he shoved his giant, wedge-shaped head through the gap and flung the door with all his strength to the left. It crashed into the flimsy doorstop for what seemed like the millionth time that night.

Don and Sarah were coveting Naughty Dip and had Baywatch on the kitchen TV. They paid the crash of the back door no mind- thinking it was someone playing Rockband upstairs.

Buddy nudged The Ham with his nose out onto the deck. The cold air hit his face and gave him clarity. He nudged it again several times towards the deck stairs.

 

A DIFFERENT DOG

“This is a different dog,” said Tohono to Waskin.

“Yes,” she said. “They are much different than any of the other Domesticateds we’ve run across. They fight together.”

“What is to be done, my love?”

“Divide and conquer. Split them up. They are three against ten if we two join the attack.”

Waskin was right. The Coyotes needed to spread out. That would spread the Domesticateds out. The more nimble coyotes could attack the larger black dogs from many different fronts. Like when they separated a weak old deer or fawn from the herd in winter.

“Yes,” said Tohono. “Assemble Wharlglearg.”

Waskin herded the reluctant Coyotes to the treeline. She used only her burning eyes, stature, and a quick wave of her head to gather them.

“Excellent,” said Tohono when all Coyotes were gathered. He used a low voice as if he was speaking to each Coyote personally.

“We lost this battle to the Domesticateds. We shan’t lose the war. Here is my Battle Plan. We will split into four Battle Groups- One Battle Group for each Black Dog and one to create havoc behind the lines.

“Group ‘Gingy’ (Max) shall get the four biggest coyotes in our group- Rincon, Stiwict, Waskin, and myself.

“Group ‘Tall Dog’ (Teddy) shall get two of our pack’s most nimble members- Jabode and Grelant.

“Group ‘Short Dog’ (Auggie) shall get the youngest of our pack- Oshunt and Plenkt.

“The remaining two Coyotes are the eldest- Grimshull and Mardina. They are the ‘Havoc’ Group. Your mission is to get around the back of The Garden Shed and force a way in If we can attack them from the rear, we can spread them out. If there is no entrance from the back, ‘Havoc’ Group will look for weaknesses, fill in where needed, and exploit any advantage the rest of us have forced.”

Tohono took a deep breath and saw the scared, starving eyes of his pack.

“We were beaten in a battle tonight, that is true. But we shan’t lose the war. We are Wharlglearg. We are The Winds of the Four Seasons. We conquer.”

A ripple of genuine hope spread across Wharlglearg. They rustled back and forth on their feet nervously and looked at each other for reassurance. The attack plan was sound. They would soon have as much food as they wanted.

“Split into groups. The assault begins on my signal.” said Tohono.

 

SCOTT FREE

Scott plunged into the cold Maine night in his pajamas and Cookie Monster slippers. It was not the first time Scott had been outside in a winter like this. He was from Massachusetts. One might say it was his habit of his.

Scott staggered off the deck and made his way down the frozen walk. All the while he was thinking of specific scenes in “Roadhouse” to show Sarah. Should he play it from the beginning? Should he present choice scenes? So many questions when you had a Roadhouse virgin within your grasp.

Where was his car? He had to think about that.

“It means we get out first if there’s a fire or shooting incident,” Scott remembered saying to his family when he parked in the weeds. “And we don’t have to wake anyone up or get woken up to move cars when the federal agents start shooting.” His family couldn’t argue with that. Not many family members COULD argue with Scott about anything.

After about 10 minutes in the corn snow, Scott arrived at his car. Wait, he thought… was the Roadhouse DVD in his luggage?

No. Absolutely not. It was in the trunk. He rifled through the trunk and got the DVD collection. He flipped through the DVDs and began to panic. Where was the “Roadhouse” DVD? Did Karen take it? Did his daughters? Did Don? Did some random, hick motorist on Maine Route 9 take it?

HA HA! Scott found it. It was under a bag of Mazda or something.. Scott grabbed the DVD triumphantly. He made his way up the driveway.

He staggered up the sanded driveway in his soggy slippers, precious “Roadhouse” DVD in hand…

 

THE OBLIGATORY PAWS BEFORE THE STORM

Maximus Gary barked, “FALL IN!” and all the dogs gathered by the front door of The Garden Shed.

“They’ll be lucky to survive Gingy twice!!” Teddy sniggered. Auggie and Teddy laughed like maniacs and ran out to the limits of the Defense Perimeter. They abused Wharglearg with childish taunts and peed all along the Defense Perimeter. “I’ve marked my territory, feral cousins! It’s got my pee on it! STAY OFF!” yelled Auggie.

“I said fall IN!” barked Maximus Gary in his best drill sergeant’s voice, and the laughing dogs came quickly over. They were both out of breath.

“We were lucky the first time because Wharglearg was stupidly arrogant. They won’t be arrogant twice,” said Maximus Gary.

“LISTEN UP! Same plan as before except Teddy is in the center facing forward with his butt up against The Garden Shed. Auggie is on his right with his butt against the Garden Shed facing out at a 45-degree angle, and me on Teddy’s right side with my butt against The Garden Shed facing out at a 45-degree angle. Teddy protects the front, Auggie protects the left, I protect the right, and The Garden She’d protects our butts. Remember, we can break formation to defend the formation, but the second we break formation entirely, we’re done. If they swamp one side, adjust to that side, but whatever happens, STAY IN A CLOSE FORMATION. If we do that, we’ll be OK.”

Ginger heard Maximus Gary’s speech and thought, “What if Wharglearg gets through the back door? What if we’re attacked in here? How can Zeus and I possibly defend the shed so Coyotes don’t attack Maximus Gary, Teddy, and Auggie from their undefended rear?”

Maximus Gary didn’t address it, but the answer was clear- It would cost Ginger and Zeus their lives. And probably Maximus Gary, Teddy and her precious Auggie as well.

She turned and looked at the depths of the dark shed.

They had work to do.

 

BUDDY’S PEREGRINATION

Buddy was out on the deck. He nudged The Ham forward with his nose. He got to the stairs and just tipped The Ham over the first step. It bounced several times off the stairs and rolled to the top of the path snowbank. It teetered for the briefest of seconds then chose the lawn side to roll off. It rolled down the front lawn slope and came to rest at the base of a birch tree.

Buddy watched the ham roll off dejectedly. He sighed and made his way down the steps, over the snowbank and out onto the front lawn. The Ham was down there by the treeline. He could see the tin foil shimmering on it from the deck lights.

Buddy loped across the corn snow. When he got to the birch tree, he saw Scott making his way up the driveway. He was talking to himself and had something in his hand.

That’s when Buddy heard a bunch of dogs having fun by the garage. “They are probably eating all the food,” thought Buddy. “I will be a hero when I bring The Ham to all the happy dogs.”

He just needed to wait until Scott was inside.

Buddy remained perfectly still until Scott passed. He picked up The Ham and began the long trip to The Garden Shed.

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That’s all I could write in such short notice, guys!

Have a GREAT Holiday! I hope you get all the canned food you can eat!

— Max