Jul 20, 2013
I am Aug. This is my dog blog. Yes. I like the ring to that…. Aug’s Dog Blog. Well, what do you know?
First of all, “thank you” to my loyal followers who alerted me that my pack-mates have been calling me “Seagull” behind my back. Don started this insolence, and says it’s because I go after dropped treats in the shop like seagulls fight over french fries in restaurant parking lots. He thinks himself enormously funny. I shall correct that. And it is pathetically hypocritical that Don should praise just those very abilities when I ate an entire colony of carpenter ants that invaded our driveway last summer. Which is it, Don?!?!? Good Dog, or Bad Dog? Make up your mind for Dog’s sake!
Other business…
My glorified haberdasher owners will be holding their first annual “Mutt Scrub” in the park across the street on Saturday, July 27th. And that should be a lot of fun despite all the massive, crippling, shortsighted mistakes they’ll make because it’s their first attempt at one of these fund-raising events. (Editor’s Note– He’s not kidding. We need all the help we can get!)
But I shall not laugh. No. The beneficiaries of Don and Liana’s skylarkings matter much more than my justified campaign to unseat them as leaders of the Kingsbury Pack. There are homeless animals at stake, and the BARKK (Because Acts of Random Kindness Kount) people are depending on us to come through. And come through we shall. Because when Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury makes a pledge, that pledge is seen through to the end– no matter how many heads roll or skulls are cracked. (Editor’s Note: That’s Auggie’s actual full name, and no heads are going to roll. Nor will any skulls be cracked).
So what, exactly, is the Mutt Scrub, you ask?
Basically, you can bring your dog down to McKown Park in Boothbay Harbor right across from the shop (22 McKown St.) and get him or her washed with Maine’s own Mutt Nose Best Shampoo! One time I rolled in something heavenly stinky and the tyrants shampooed me in something called U. Stinky Dog. I will be frank with you. It wasn’t what I wanted to disguise my scent for the big potato chip hunt. But it was pleasant and didn’t burn my prize-winning sensitive nose with a lot of perfumed snake oil (Editor’s Note– No Prize).
Let me continue with this handy list:
Any questions? Want to volunteer? Have experience with this kind of thing? Or, if you have any desire to give me a bunch or delicious treats, please email Don@twosaltydogs.net. Or call the shop during business hours at (207) 633-PETS. That’s 633-7387 for all you kids without the letters on your smart-aleck phones.
I Remain,
Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury
Post Script: Oh! I almost forgot! Like our Facebook page for timely Mutt Scrub information or to gaze upon my commanding pictures in the shop. That is all.
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