auggie, Author at The Harbor Dogs' Stories

Feb 1, 2021

Slouching Towards Edgecomb – by Auggie

I was dragged back to a room where I was subjugated. Against my most ardent protestations, my front-left leg was shaved. “I AM AN AMERICAN DOG CITIZEN! I HAVE RIGHTS! I bellowed out into the reverberating concrete anteroom. “I DO NOT CONSENT!! I WANT MY LAWYER!!”I screamed as they slipped the IV into my shaved leg. I thought I heard someone (Don?) laugh as the drugs took effect and my reality melted away.

Then there was nothing.

Sep 1, 2020

Zuckerstruck – by Auggie

How do you do, you lugubrious swine? Shall I display to you the enormous sweep of my influence? Swallow the last of your warm, spittle-infused canned beer and refrain from asking questions until I direct you that such questions are welcome. Anything less would waste my valuable time. August 22nd, 2020 Two Salty Dogs Pet […]

Apr 1, 2020

Vetting the Vets – by Auggie

Salutations, depraved quislings. Be seated. That is an order. When I heard we were going to “The Vets” the other day, I thought I would spend the day at a local VFW, drinking cheap beer with the heroes of our nation. Nothing could have been further from the truth. No doubt you have heard about […]

Nov 1, 2019

Odyssey – by Auggie

Good Day, Malingerers. This is a long one. Don’t start it if you cannot finish it. I was given no warning. Don brought me to the truck and bade me inside. I thought we were going to the local park for Walkies and mayhap a treat for afters. As there were none of the other […]

Jul 1, 2019

J’Accuse – by Auggie

J’Accuse – “I accuse.” A bitter denunciation. I should start by saying that my last blog was a resounding triumph in Canine Literature. Normally, my blogs are hungrily received and widely acclaimed by the top critics of the land. I have heard tell that my last blog caused several prominent critics to completely explode in a flash of […]

Mar 1, 2019

Ask Augustus – by Auggie

Good Day, you drunken gadabouts. I am often unfairly criticized for being too harsh. However, in the interests of ceasing your incessant e-prattle, I am now going to answer questions submitted by you – the confused and chunky canine hordes of America. I do this without anger and in the genuine hopes of helping my fellow canines. […]

Nov 1, 2018

SEALs at the Gates of Don – by Auggie

Salutations, quislings. It is I, your Supreme Canine Commander in Chief – Augustus. I am ready to mesmerize you with my unique and compelling takes on Boothbay Harbor Dog Life. And I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for picking up most of your trash in the Harbor this summer and disposing of […]

Jul 1, 2018

The Mongrel Scour 2018 – by Auggie

Salutations, Lackeys. Your rewards are forthcoming and wondrous. Every year the Bipeds “do” this thing called the Mutt Scrub. The cutesy name is designed to elicit heartwarming images of faithful canines being lovingly washed by ever-adoring owners. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The Mutt Scrub (Or as I call it, “The Mongel Scour”) […]

Mar 1, 2018

Separation Angst – by Auggie

(Editors Note: Auggie must use the word “Rutabaga” in this blog or forfeit a snack). ————————————– I am Augustus and every fibre of my canine being loathes you for the hairless ape you are. It’s not your fault. But you should try harder in future. Like spelling fiber, fibre. Make a note of it, and […]

Nov 1, 2017

A Spike in Kamikaze Attacks – by Auggie

Attention worshippers……. It is I, your favorite Salty Dog, Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury. Thanks for all the virtual kisses. They have meant quite a lot to me throughout the latest ordeal I shall now have to tell you with complete honesty and verve. I should start by re-stating how much I loathe Canine Prison (Editors […]